Tuesday, October 11, 2011

As evidence of my vast powers of procrastination, I have successfully put off posting to this blog for more than a year.


Truthfully, it's been a busy year for me. Last November, I was hired as a copywriter for a network marketing company based here in Tampa. For those who are unfamiliar with network marketing, think Amway or MonaVie. If you've ever wondered what happened to the door-to-door salesmen of the early 20th century, they evolved into network marketers.



The company I work for, Numis Network, specializes in the sale of graded and certified precious metal coins from the world's leading government mints (I have written that line so many times that it has become my reflex response whenever people ask me about my job). I handle all of the company's emails to our representatives and customers as well as any in-house writing that needs to be done. I write copy for brochures, product descriptions, and presentations. I also manage the company's Policies and Procedures, Terms and Conditions, and 4 separate blogs.
My experience at Numis Network has been invaluable. My skills at Search Engine Optimization have grown immensely, and I quickly established myself as the resident numismatic expert in our office. My favorite part about this job is that I get to write about something that I find fascinating: Coins. 

Yes, I'm a coin collector. No, I'm not 65 and I don't live with my mother. Does that make me a geek? Probably; I'm sure the degree in Professional and Technical Writing isn't helping (I think that the omission of the Oxford comma in a serial listing of 3 or more items in a sentence should be a crime punishable by 30 lashes). Unfortunately, with all of the writing I do for work, it can be difficult to find the motivation to write for myself during my free time. I promise that will change.

Some of My Work

Monday, September 6, 2010

Oh To Be Bold And Valiant!

Quintus Horatius Flaccus
Perhaps Lee Iacocca said it best, "In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."  Of course he was probably just paraphrasing the great Roman philosopher poet, Horace.  So here I sit, trying desperately to pour myself into something positive. 

It seems that whenever I feel repugnance for the things that I've said or done, I try to crawl away into someone else's thoughts.  I read a book or watch tv; whatever I can in order to ignore the existence of the parts of me that I abhor but cannot deny exist.  I suppose that there is simply less cognitive dissonance when I pretend that the asshole in me doesn't exist as opposed to trying to apologize for being rude to the ones I love.  

In my head I blame my actions on stress and the pressures placed upon my by the rest of the world.  Surely, no one could argue that these are stressful times.  But stress is not what happens to us; it is merely our response to what happens.  The "stress" I feel is my blinded response to the inconsequential.  In my heart I know that no matter how desperate things may seem at present, that this too shall pass.  What truly matters are the feelings that I sometimes so flagrantly hurt.

It is all too easy to blame the "stress" for my actions.  The world too often makes excuses for us and in doing so facilitates our weaknesses.  One can easily sympathize with those who can't handle the stress.  We place ourselves in the shoes of men who, in "stressful" situations, do unspeakable things and condone their actions because we believe that no man can be expected to handle such circumstances with grace and magnanimity.  But stress is nothing more than an excuse for weakness.  It is an excuse we make in order to not appear weak or to have failed.  But if weakness and failure are truly such abominable things, then they become greater abominations when we make excuses for them. 

So it was, that in a moment of "stress" that I said things I now regret, and rather than own up to my failings I chose instead to ignore them.  I tried to distract myself from myself by reading.  I sought solace in Emily Dickinson.  But instead of consolation I found reflection.  Instead of being excused I was reprimanded. 

                            1640
Take all away from me, but leave me Ecstasy,
And I am richer then than all my Fellow Men -
Ill it becometh me to dwell so wealthily
When at my very Door are those possessing more,
In abject poverty -
 - E. Dickinson

I realized that the things that I CHOOSE to be stressed out about do not matter.  The material things that I fight so hard to maintain are not the source of my wealth.  From this day forth, in such times of stress, I shall strive to be bold and valiant.  I will endeavor to plow my anger and energy into something positive. 

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I Know What I Want For Christmas!


Finally, a chance to return to typing the way it was meant to be done and still have all of the benefits of MS Word's spell check and slightly more useless grammar check.  It's a USB Typewriter!  The opportunity to create efficiently with a soothing and rhythmic clickety clack that's reminiscent of a day gone by that even I can't remember and is sure to drive my wife crazy.  What more could I ask for?  How about the soldering skill it takes to build one of things myself since the price of a classic typewriter and the conversion kit combined is equivalent to a new laptop?  Yes, as cool as it would be to own one of these things, I don't see myself spending that kind of cash on what is essentially just a keyboard. 


Still, it would be nice to have around some proof for my daughters that mankind did more than chisel messages into stone before the advent of the computer.  

Favorite Site of the Day: USBTypewriter.com

Monday, August 30, 2010

Am I A Professional Writer Yet?

I started my new job today.  I'll refrain from naming my place of employment for now for fear that some of the things that I write in this still evolving blog may reflect negatively on the wonderful people that were so kind as to agree to pay me for doing something I love.  As to my job description, I'm a copywriter concentrating on search engine optimized product review articles for a small online retailer based in north Tampa.  In a nutshell, I write marketing copy designed to boost sales.  For those select few who were aware of my recent efforts toward finding gainful employment, I've decided to put teaching on the back burner for now.  The shear number of people competing for the few remaining teaching positions makes it unlikely that I'll be hired into the public school system any time soon; there are simply too many more qualified applicants with more experience vying for the same jobs.  I am still holding out hope for something better in the near future and my search for a viable career will continue clandestinely.  To all of my friends and family, thank you for all of your support the past few months.  After repeated dalliances with madness over the frustration of being unable to find a job this summer, I would have surely given up long ago had it not been for all of the encouragement that I had received. 

So I shall trudge on with the tedious task of writing copy knowing that each day of work means my portfolio grows that much more.  If there is one favor that I could request of anyone reading my blog it would be to ask for your honest opinion of my writing.  For me, this is an experiment.  An attempt to find my own personal style while honing my skills in the grammar and mechanics of the English language.  Be brutally honest.  I can take it.  The only path to improvement is the one that makes me aware of my faults and helps me shed my inconsistencies. 

He has the makings of a good copywriter.
It is not my dream to one day write a best seller or the next great American novel.  In truth, I already possess everything I've ever wanted in life so fame and fortune are unimportant to me.  I merely seek to enjoy what I do and to do my best at it, whatever it may be.  Some might say that that's the mindset of a loser and a quitter who only seeks to maintain status quo.  I say that it's the ethos of a man who's already won all of the fortunes that life has to offer. 

Favorite Site of the Day: The Copywriter Underground

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Way of the Crane

Life is filled with those little moments we can't explain.  Some pass it off as coincidence, others fate.  Be it a happy accident, kismet, or intelligent design, there are those strings of events that both demand appraisal and defy elucidation.  For now, the reasons are inconsequential; it's the results of those strings of events that I want to examine tonight. 

Kunihiko Kasahara
For years, I've practiced origami.  I've folded everything from flowers to dragons.  As accomplished as I have become, there are those in this world whose skill in the art of paper folding can only be described as genius.  Among those is the origami master, Kunihiko Kasahara

A few years ago, I purchased one of his books, Origami Omnibus.  So much of his work is beyond my meger abilities, but there was one piece he designed and created that I wanted to learn more than any other; The Crane in Flight.  The traditional crane was the first piece of origami I had ever learned to make at the age of 7.  When I taught Pre-K, it was the most popular piece among my students. 

My Traditional Crane
As I sat home alone, I found an old stack of origami paper left over from when I was teaching.  For old times' sake, I folded a couple of different cranes.  Afterwards, I started cleaning up where I left off and found my copy of Kasahara's Omnibus hidden behind the entertainment center.  I don't know how long it had been sitting back there.  I know that I hadn't looked through in over a year since the last time I tried to fold the Crane in Flight and gave up in frustration.  I felt compelled to give it one more shot. 

My Traditional Crane II
Things went smoothly at first.  The brilliance of Kasahara's design is immediately apparent from how different its initial folds are from the traditional style of origami cranes that I'm familiar with.  How he ever came up with this particular configuration is beyone me.  As the wings of the crane began to take shape, I began to remember what had originally frustrated me so much in my previous attempts.  Kasahara's instructions are not for novices.  His step by step illustrations contain very little in the way of written instruction.  Instead, he relies heavily on well mapped out diagrams.  It's much like the instructions for assembling IKEA furniture.  

My Completed Crane in Flight
Annoyed by fact that I couldn't get my crane's wings to look like they did in the book, I gave up and walked away.  I went back to cleaning up; this time in the kitchen.  While putting some papers away, I found an envelope with one of its corners turned inside out and Kasahara's instructions suddenly made sense.  I ran back to the crane I had set aside and began to resolve the complex wing fold by turning the offending piece inside out with the aid of a cheese knife and some nimble fingers.  

My Crane in Flight


Finally, I understood.  It made sense to me much the same way a mathematical equation does the first time you understand it.  Trigonometry and geometry in a tangible form.  I had found the Way.  And so it hit me; the title for tonight's post.  But this is not the end of the evening's string of curious revelations. 

On a whim, I "googled" The Way of The Crane.  Among the myriad of results that search returned was a link to a poem on the origins of The Way of the Crane, whose author I could not discern.  Its significance astounded me.  It was the conclusion to a seemingly insignificant string of minor events that left me questioning my place in this world; not only because of the poem's purport, but because of its similarity to the events I have just reccounted.  And so I leave off tonight with "The Way of the Resplendent Crane" for you to ponder over.


The Way of the Resplendent Crane

And it will be forever known, the lamenting ache-filled tone
echoed in every note plucked along the heart and spine,
plaguing like an infection of the mind, of the songs that must
recall the much regretted Third Age fall.
For, by what means could one foresee such a shattering tragedy,
with Earth and Heaven separated as a cosmic punishment and
the guilty Wan Xian traipsing about the Middle Kingdom like soul
shattered puppets flailing at acts of life. You can see it
in their eyes,
the battle that wars inside,
of the righteous and the vile, vying to ride the human shell.
But not Xue, who pursued through meditation a mode of control over
the internal forces that pulled him in conflicting directions.
beneath the Falls of Tóng he pondered,
for at least a thousand nights,
until his flesh was green and bloated, at that moment disappointed,
for no new wisdom stirs within.
Hunger wakes him from his focus, driving him into the blinding snow,
where prowls the furthest reaches, yet finding nothing to consume.
He finally arrives at frozen water, where he spies the graceful crane
snatch a frog up from the depths, which becomes a butterfly.
In this moment Xue understands it, the purpose of this cursed life –
to dredge the ugly frogs up from the wicked world
and make them beautiful again.
And thus, the Way of the Resplendent Crane is writ,
recognizing impurity and striving to overcome it.

Author - Unknown -

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Charlie's Pet Peeves

First, let me start today by stating that it is not my intention to use this blog as a platform for pissing and moaning about the world around me.  Today, however, I experienced one of my few pet peeves and feel compelled to vent a little.  As a disclaimer, I'd like to make it clear that I have nothing against the restaurant chain Chili's.  I like their food and plan on continuing to patronize their restaurants with the exception of the location I took my family to this afternoon.  As one who spent a fair number of years waiting tables, I can appreciate the amount of hard work that goes into operating a restaurant and the difficulties inherent with providing quality service to the increasingly fastidious masses.  Nevertheless, as a result of my experiences, I know for a fact that there is NO excuse for the poor service and unsanitary conditions I encountered today at the Chili's near our home.

Imprimis, our server was as friendly to us as the Cuban government is to the concept of a free market.  We were repeatedly ignored and our requests forgotten.  To make matters worse, it appeared as if the booth where he sat us hadn't been cleaned in weeks.  Most notably, when I attempted to use the salt shaker I found that all of the salt had crusted together inside the lid of the shaker because it appeaed as if someone had spilled ketchup on it and simply tried to wipe it clean on the outside.  When I removed the lid I found that the salt inside had crusted up with ketchup and what appeared to be dirty water.  What made things worse was when I asked our server for a new salt shaker he simply cleaned out the top layer of crusted up salt and returned the very same shaker to me to use.  He didn't even wipe the filthy thing down.  Later, after the manager had finally brought me a clean salt shaker, both he and the server tried to pass it off as the result of humidity.  The one thing that bugs me more than a dirty restaurant is being treated like an idiot. 

Chili's at 8510 West Hillsborough Ave.
Well, I think I've vented enough.  I feel better.  I will not be returning to the the Chili's on Hillsborough avenue and Memorial highway in Town N' Country.  I will gladly eat at any other Chili's location.  This was the first bad experience that I have ever had with a Brinker International Corporation's restaurant.  Hopefully, it will be the last.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Over The Rhine Hallelujah


In 1984, Leonard Cohen recorded what would become one of the most beautiful and most covered songs ever; Hallelujah. I was cruising YouTube tonight in another bout of sleeplessness and came across what has to be one of the greatest amalgamations since peanut butter and chocolate: Over the Rhine singing Hallelujah. This is actually a cover of Jeff Buckley's famous cover.  If you're familiar with Cohen's masterpiece you'll recognize the difference in the final verse.  For those of you who are unacquainted with OTR, I highly recommend their album Snow Angels and the song All I Ever Get For Christmas Is Blue.  Please, give it a listen.  Shed a tear.  Thank me later.

I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
David Watching Bathsheba Bathe
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah



Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
Delilah Cutting Samson's Hair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah



Well baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah



Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya?
And remember when I moved in you?
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah



Well maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who out drew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah...



RIP Mr. Buckley
1966-1997